Friday, October 28, 2011

The No-Kvetching Challenge!


Over the last few months I have taken a challenge on myself to fast from complaining for Shabbat. (Friday sundown to Saturday sundown). I have not always been entirely successful but even the effort is a wonderful experience. I have used twitter to invite others to join me in the fast. I invite my fellow fasters to post their non-complaining experiences here, so others can share their successes and their "failures" so we all can grow.

14 comments:

  1. well, its mostly failures. its hard to stop complaining as for me, my complains are usually in the shape of a joke, rather than to be negative about my surroundings.

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  2. Jokes may be good way of deflecting some of the negativity of complaining. Still jokes can have a sting.

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  3. My heart tells me that you will not mind a Buddhist joining in. I think this is a great idea, It will probably not stop me from complaining but allows me to to become more aware of my complaining via auto pilot.

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  4. I think I'll continue this until next Saturday because I was alone for most of the day, so I didn't have anyone to complain to. I want to challenge myself.

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  5. Sumaira: I did so well this week I am going to try again next week too. So you will be have company.

    Karma: I am very happy for you to share in our mindfulness exercise. How did it go?

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  6. I chose more carefully what I allowed into my world in the past 24 hours. Looking back now, I realized I don't want to continue to have those influences to continue. Some, such as work, will be more challenging, but my reaction to them is all my choice. Thank you for the challenge, and I will continue to work on my choices and reactions.

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  7. I complained about cold chips from the take-away shop, they were so bad it would have felt wrong not to tell the shop keeper. This was "karma" for eating rubbish :-)

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  8. Brother JJ, I tanked badly. Although as mentioned on Twitter, a friends wedding wasn't the best weekend to choose and especially not so since it was my third wedding weekend in a row lol! I did try, my wife reminded me constantly but I kvetched big time. I resolve to do better next week, any tips from others or yourself?

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  9. I was debating on whether to tell my wife. I wasn't going to at first because then if I failed she would just give me that look. The "mm hmm. Mr. Big Spiritual Dude... " look. But then I decided that I would tell her and my daughter so the could help me. They did in fact bring me back from the brink once.
    We all have our weak points. I have found that I simply can not talk about work. I love my students, I enjoy my work but like all workplaces it can be frustrating. Given the slightest provocation, I am off and running. So, if you can identify subjects that are likely to send you on a jag, maybe best to avoid them. (As I said, weddings and stuff are just kvetch-fests anyway. When you do this you realize how much of socializing consists of people just griping." You tried. You did good!

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  10. I know it's not Saturday yet, but I can't help commenting. Here goes:

    Day 1:
    I set the goal of not complaining in front of me during all my actions through the day, and it was actually going very well for me, not until I noticed one thing: I didn't stop complaining, while I thought I was. When I replayed parts of my day, I found myself complaining, and at moments thinking: "Is what I'm going to say now considered a complaint?" I discovered that I need to define what "Complaining" is; that's why I couldn't tell I haven't stopped.

    Day 2 – till the current day:
    This whole defining thins was a bit difficult for me, so I kind of generalized things to be on the safe side, and decided to refrain from saying anything negative. The bad news is, I didn't stop complaining (not that I'm a big complainer, but I do it on a regular basis). The good news is, I did it more consciously. I found myself thinking twice before talking, and weighing the impact of what I was going to say, because honestly whenever I complain I end up feeling bad. Now I feel more guilty like I'm ruining a diet I'm following; breaking a pact I made with myself.

    What I concluded out of this challenge is that Complaining is just like breathing; eating; sleeping; or any other daily function of ours. Some people practice it in a healthy way by converting it to a positive outcome, and some just give in to that urge and leak the negativity out. Complaining is just a bad habit, and like every bad habit is hard to get rid of, good ones are also hard to obtain. Practice makes perfect I say!

    Sorry to have blabbered here, and thank you for your continuous inspiration Mr. Weissman!

    Rehab

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  12. Love the idea..going to give it a try.. =D Even if I can't help myself this time..there's always next week inshallah :). Maybe every time I can try to last longer. I will share my success/failure at sundown tomorrow lol =)

    @a_muradovna

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  13. I'm giving it another go, another Friday means another opportunity! I need to find a way to remind myself that it is still no-kvetching time when I get up on the Saturday. I will probably write a message and put it by my clock.

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  14. So glad to see this! I've actually tried to take it on as a daily habit of Remembrance of HaShem/Allah (swt). I've seen the Sufis define patience as "complaining only to the One." It may be more doable or sustainable as a sabbath practice. Glad to have company on this journey of love and appreciation.

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